17 March 2011

Military Misuse

A buddy of mine whom has been to the sand box used to talk about fishing in the Euphrates river with hand grenades.  Contrary to conventional thought, he explained, you did not simply pull the pin and toss the 'nade into the river.  Doing so caused a splash and a sound that chased the fish far enough way before the fuse ran thin and the incendiary went boom.  The key was to wait for a concentration of fish, pull pin, toss just high enough into the air so the grenade was hitting the water at precisely the time of it's explosion, and thus the concussion (and not necessarily the shrapnel) caused the fish to go belly up.  Obviously, the winner of the fishing derby's "pot" had the most fish per hand grenade, or at least that's how the story went.

While this story is very plausible (and even more so over beers and welcome homes), from Cracked, we get the top six military misuses.  Ice cream making air plane?  Yep!  Cooking with C4?  Yep, we make the Mythbusters look pedestrian?  Ga'day Govnah!  Tea heated with a kettle for you sir?  Or perhaps a machine gun?  It's snowing but we ain't got a sled!  RIOT SHIELDS FTW!  You've got mail!  (Delivered via Cruise missile).  And finally, lighting a cig w/ a Nuke! 

It's hilarity!  So roll over to cracked and read it there. 

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